"I'm going to go and dig a hole"
he said, to himself.
the sun was down
and a storm was brewing...
and it was that time
of day called night when he would walk
the streets looking for faces and stories
to fill his notebook with.
so later he could place that book
and it's coils under his pillow
and by osmosis, dream for lost ones.
but that is jumping ahead.
he clicked his poser
motorcycle boots
down Culver City Boulevard
stopping for a taco
and trying so hard to make eye contact
with the regulars and the lonely
instead of fantasizing of running through
brick walls
and reappearing in '39
to search for Scarlet with a tribe
of little people
but that is besides the point
he was on a mission...
he was going to dig a hole
and what that hole was for
had no bearing on anything
that mattered.
the only thing that mattered
was he was searching
for a mystery to solve
because he was tired of his own...
so he falls down his hole
like film noir alice
in a fedora
worrying about
anything but himself
digging deeper and
deeper still
hiding
refusing, with all his might,
to give up
time travel
for the rain.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
for now this is enough
Today I want to write something new. Something I never wrote before. Well, that wont be that difficult of a feat since every moment has to be "new" by definition...I think. Even if thematically speaking, I have touched on a subject many times before...this time is still NEW. I don't want to stop myself just because I might not be original. I actually don't believe in "original". There is no such thing. Nothing is brand new. Even if it seems new it most likely came from INSPIRATION... "from the spirit"...from someplace outside of ourselves. and who knows where it came from before that?....It's possibly all one big circle. Or maybe a long road leading to infinity?...could there be an end? Not for me to know I guess...for now anyway.
So where was I? something new....
there was a barbarian
who loved victorian homes
and morning coffee kissing the sun
as it broke away from the deep sea
once more.
that's all...for now....just a moment of something new...sometimes "just a moment" when aloud to live can be a doorway to other worlds that if left to die and vanish would go forgotten...
we shall see...for now this is enough
Sunday, December 2, 2012
to(begin again)day
today is december second
two thousand and twelve.
i am sitting on top of a mountain
of sorts...
i can see the ocean from here.
a bit of it anyway
through a misty fog.
this is not poetry.
this is simply reported fact.
today is a new day...
not unlike the day before,
but still it's own newness
should not be ignored.
even as i put my suit,
that should be dry cleaned
i suppose,
in the washer...
i work to avoid thinking
about tomorrow
and just enjoy this
mundane moment
for a change.
today is a day
that will never
happen again...
i'm gonna begin
to try to understand
that miracle
for a change
i'm gonna begin
to breathe
for a change
i'm gonna begin
to not be afraid
for a change
but please
don't take it as
the contract
of someone
you are bound
to call a hypocrite...
because maybe this
is just a poem after all
and not fact...
and today is just a day
and i am just a me
and you are just a you...
but i can almost see the ocean...
that is a fact.
and maybe just enough
to begin
again
two thousand and twelve.
i am sitting on top of a mountain
of sorts...
i can see the ocean from here.
a bit of it anyway
through a misty fog.
this is not poetry.
this is simply reported fact.
today is a new day...
not unlike the day before,
but still it's own newness
should not be ignored.
even as i put my suit,
that should be dry cleaned
i suppose,
in the washer...
i work to avoid thinking
about tomorrow
and just enjoy this
mundane moment
for a change.
today is a day
that will never
happen again...
i'm gonna begin
to try to understand
that miracle
for a change
i'm gonna begin
to breathe
for a change
i'm gonna begin
to not be afraid
for a change
but please
don't take it as
the contract
of someone
you are bound
to call a hypocrite...
because maybe this
is just a poem after all
and not fact...
and today is just a day
and i am just a me
and you are just a you...
but i can almost see the ocean...
that is a fact.
and maybe just enough
to begin
again
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
karma killer
gonna wear it all
on my sleeve
like a tattooed
gypsy circus freak
come closer now,
maybe you will see
the karma killer
inside of me
that refuses to ever believe
the reasons you say we suffer
and watch the tattoos always bleed
so you can see
the fight to be the real me
karma killer
fight this demon
karma killer
stalking me
karma killer
can you see them
karma killer
cant believe
in the power
that you have
to take away my life
so tonight i am a karma killer
and one us will die
gonna face the night and all its stars
whose light wont let me hide my scars
so a stranger ties me in the dark
to a bed i think wont get me far
with blindfold on i dream the karma
dies before another
dream that dosent come to life
but for now i fight
to stay awake in the night
karma killer
fight this demon
karma killer
stalking me
karma killer
can you see them
karma killer
cant believe
in the power
that you have
to take away my life
so tonight i am a karma killer
and one us will die
don't tell me who i am
don't tell me anymore
of where this whole damn life will end
based on what I've done before
karma killer
fight this demon
karma killer
stalking me
karma killer
can you see them
karma killer
cant believe
in the power
that you have
to take away my life
so tonight i am a karma killer
and one us will die
on my sleeve
like a tattooed
gypsy circus freak
come closer now,
maybe you will see
the karma killer
inside of me
that refuses to ever believe
the reasons you say we suffer
and watch the tattoos always bleed
so you can see
the fight to be the real me
karma killer
fight this demon
karma killer
stalking me
karma killer
can you see them
karma killer
cant believe
in the power
that you have
to take away my life
so tonight i am a karma killer
and one us will die
gonna face the night and all its stars
whose light wont let me hide my scars
so a stranger ties me in the dark
to a bed i think wont get me far
with blindfold on i dream the karma
dies before another
dream that dosent come to life
but for now i fight
to stay awake in the night
karma killer
fight this demon
karma killer
stalking me
karma killer
can you see them
karma killer
cant believe
in the power
that you have
to take away my life
so tonight i am a karma killer
and one us will die
don't tell me who i am
don't tell me anymore
of where this whole damn life will end
based on what I've done before
karma killer
fight this demon
karma killer
stalking me
karma killer
can you see them
karma killer
cant believe
in the power
that you have
to take away my life
so tonight i am a karma killer
and one us will die
Monday, September 17, 2012
upon seeing glen hansard busking in soho
shocks of grey and red hair
and a passion of strumming
and screaming to brand new
worship songs found me
faint and short of breath
as i leaned against a wall
in a shadowed alley
called jersey street.
i had wandered all day
in the heat
south of the village
never stopping...
since stopping
was always at a cost
that i didn't have
and i wondered how far
i could go
how long could i travel
in circles of people-watching,
riding on zero and empty...
and then suddenly
in a tiny subtle way
fate at last
kissed me
as i saw cameras pointed
at a "no way it can't be him"
once in a lifetime moment
that i was able to stand still for
i watched him reach higher
than i thought i could go
ever again. as i
died at last
and remained
gone
in peace
walking the streets
with new steps
silent
but changed
and at last innocent
one more time
if (we only have today)
if stranger looks away
will you follow that gaze
to places you know less than
hope but more than what
you have seen before?
if wonder finds you hiding
inside the soundtrack
of crashing curling water
will you breathe her in?
or pass away to lack
of tomorrow's only chance,
not trusting the dream
of scales on your spirit's
soul...
if lover lied to your mirror's face
will you see the backwards
irony that never lets you rest
in it's pervasive curses
of questions, that
only serve to send you
deeper in a maze-
meant to end the wild streak
that could have been alive
when the sun first kissed
your brow...
if you...were your own lover
touching the wonder liquid colors
crawling down your time away from
yesterday, you would see you are only
a stranger yourself...one worth knowing
tomorrow...but today...
we only have today,
she said to the
graffitied quotes
that followed her
like a jules verne
quest to the center
of a planet
she didnt know
was alive
until she said gently
one more time...
we only have today.
will you follow that gaze
to places you know less than
hope but more than what
you have seen before?
if wonder finds you hiding
inside the soundtrack
of crashing curling water
will you breathe her in?
or pass away to lack
of tomorrow's only chance,
not trusting the dream
of scales on your spirit's
soul...
if lover lied to your mirror's face
will you see the backwards
irony that never lets you rest
in it's pervasive curses
of questions, that
only serve to send you
deeper in a maze-
meant to end the wild streak
that could have been alive
when the sun first kissed
your brow...
if you...were your own lover
touching the wonder liquid colors
crawling down your time away from
yesterday, you would see you are only
a stranger yourself...one worth knowing
tomorrow...but today...
we only have today,
she said to the
graffitied quotes
that followed her
like a jules verne
quest to the center
of a planet
she didnt know
was alive
until she said gently
one more time...
we only have today.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
johnny was her jesus (unsung song)
breathing in the salt
mixed with morning sun & skythat clashed with city streets
slowly waking from the night
that begged to hide away
with the gods of rock & roll
who were crucified at 3 am
just before they saved her soul
johnny was her jesus
she wanted him inside
her secret lover friend
whos words kept her alive
johnny died and left his dreams
bout 30 years ago
but his music resurects her
as neighbors pray for her soul
johnny was her jesus
his words let her know
that even lost, living is alive...
waves carresed her ankles
as she ignored the syringe
for worn down colored glass
that defied the mess she's in
held it to the sun
to shine the sea on the streets
and baptize all the lost
for the gods she'd never meet
johnny was her jesus
she wanted him inside
her secret lover friend
whos words kept her alive
johnny died and left his dreams
bout 30 years ago
but his music resurects her
as neighbors pray for her soul
johnny was her jesus
his words let her know
that even lost, living is alive...
she cried,
"come alive
come alive my friend
one day all is lost
one day you'll rise again."
she cried,
"i don't need
my johnny jesus anymore.
just wanna hold you tight
and end your inner war"
Johnny was her jesus
now she's letting go
of her secret lover friend
who's words saved her soul
johnny died and left his dreams
when she was twenty one
johnny was her jesus
now there's there's solace in his son
who even lost, helps her come alive
her and johnny jesus' son
are goin on a ride
her and Johnny Jesus' son
will someday soon say goodbye
and even though they're lost...
living is alive
Friday, February 10, 2012
madame marie...unsung song
waking from an ancient night
facing toward the eastern sky
recalling dreams of neon lights
that glowed alive and made me high
but left me out in the cold
sweating out this love so old
that even though it's you i hold
it dances like a memory
following grafitti eyes
seducing me with promises
i fall inside your little white lies
find truth inside your kiss
you whisper that my future's fine
you run your fingers down my line
ask me to drink of your wine
and we dance like a memory
Dance my love, like a memory
but don't let go
don't let it be
don't forget
madame marie
you told me I'd be fine
Dance my love, like a memory
that i can't hold on to
I can't believe
don't forget
madame marie
you told me you'd be mine
don't forget
madame marie
dance my love, like a memory
that shines
you hide behind your prophecies
of passing strangers pain
getting high when you relieve
their heat with summer rain
but i see you, and youre the one
that needs the love, but now youre done
i stand alone with the rising sun
and we dance like a memory
Dance my love, like a memory
but don't let go
don't let it be
don't forget
madame marie
you told me I'd be fine
Dance my love, like a memory
that i can't hold on to
I can't believe
don't forget
madame marie
you told me you'd be mine
don't forget
madame marie
dance my love, like a memory
that shines
facing toward the eastern sky
recalling dreams of neon lights
that glowed alive and made me high
but left me out in the cold
sweating out this love so old
that even though it's you i hold
it dances like a memory
following grafitti eyes
seducing me with promises
i fall inside your little white lies
find truth inside your kiss
you whisper that my future's fine
you run your fingers down my line
ask me to drink of your wine
and we dance like a memory
Dance my love, like a memory
but don't let go
don't let it be
don't forget
madame marie
you told me I'd be fine
Dance my love, like a memory
that i can't hold on to
I can't believe
don't forget
madame marie
you told me you'd be mine
don't forget
madame marie
dance my love, like a memory
that shines
you hide behind your prophecies
of passing strangers pain
getting high when you relieve
their heat with summer rain
but i see you, and youre the one
that needs the love, but now youre done
i stand alone with the rising sun
and we dance like a memory
Dance my love, like a memory
but don't let go
don't let it be
don't forget
madame marie
you told me I'd be fine
Dance my love, like a memory
that i can't hold on to
I can't believe
don't forget
madame marie
you told me you'd be mine
don't forget
madame marie
dance my love, like a memory
that shines
bordertown (dance for free)...unsung song
wastin money on margaritas
waitin on a strangers call
lovers grinding in my mind
out the window rain just falls
then the dj's music fades
that femme fatale takes the stage
and rips me to another time
when i dared to live and almost die
just to be painted in the night
with red on drying lips
and love layed broken on her sleeve
she's workin' for the tips
i wanna make her believe
but i'm just falling and about to be lost
in this bordertown...
she wont know i exist cuz i cant pay the cost
but i cant pay the gas to not stick around
so I'm stuck in lonely limbo
in this quiet bordertown...
prayin' that she will dance for free
wanting lights to fade to blackness
wishing i'd just dissapear
so she'd be blind to all my pain
and not be scared of all my fears
then the femme fatale is gone
the dj plays another song
i drink to that to blur my sight
so though shes gone, i see the light
and she paints me in the dying night
with red on drying lips
and love layed broken on her sleeve
she's workin' for the tips
i wanna make her believe
but i'm just falling and about to be lost
in this bordertown...
she wont know i exist cuz i cant pay the cost
but i cant pay the gas to not stick around
so I'm stuck in lonely limbo
in this quiet bordertown...
prayin' that she will dance for free
the night is over
i walk the streets
left with nothing
but painted dreams
of red on drying lips
and love layed broken on her sleeve
she's workin' for the tips
i wanna make her believe
but i'm just falling and about to be lost
in this bordertown...
she wont know i exist cuz i cant pay the cost
but i cant pay the gas to not stick around
so I'm stuck in lonely limbo
in this quiet bordertown...
prayin' that she will dance for free
waitin on a strangers call
lovers grinding in my mind
out the window rain just falls
then the dj's music fades
that femme fatale takes the stage
and rips me to another time
when i dared to live and almost die
just to be painted in the night
with red on drying lips
and love layed broken on her sleeve
she's workin' for the tips
i wanna make her believe
but i'm just falling and about to be lost
in this bordertown...
she wont know i exist cuz i cant pay the cost
but i cant pay the gas to not stick around
so I'm stuck in lonely limbo
in this quiet bordertown...
prayin' that she will dance for free
wanting lights to fade to blackness
wishing i'd just dissapear
so she'd be blind to all my pain
and not be scared of all my fears
then the femme fatale is gone
the dj plays another song
i drink to that to blur my sight
so though shes gone, i see the light
and she paints me in the dying night
with red on drying lips
and love layed broken on her sleeve
she's workin' for the tips
i wanna make her believe
but i'm just falling and about to be lost
in this bordertown...
she wont know i exist cuz i cant pay the cost
but i cant pay the gas to not stick around
so I'm stuck in lonely limbo
in this quiet bordertown...
prayin' that she will dance for free
the night is over
i walk the streets
left with nothing
but painted dreams
of red on drying lips
and love layed broken on her sleeve
she's workin' for the tips
i wanna make her believe
but i'm just falling and about to be lost
in this bordertown...
she wont know i exist cuz i cant pay the cost
but i cant pay the gas to not stick around
so I'm stuck in lonely limbo
in this quiet bordertown...
prayin' that she will dance for free
cant get away from your song...unsung song
All I can do
Is lie in a dark room
Blasting out whatever tunes
To take away what I feel
Everything I need
To let my tears bleed
Internally
Denying what I know to be real
All I can do
Is get lost in that room
And try to forget you
And try not to feel
But no matter how hard I try
The music keeps me alive
Though I’m begging to die
Just to know heaven’s real
And if I turn the music loud enough
I see sunshine, and I feel your love
But here’s the thing
I don’t want to feel
So now I’m forever running
Just to get away
Cuz I’d rather not know you’re gone
Driving to the edge
Of an empty highway
Dead silence
the radio’s off
But no matter far I drive, or how far I run
I can’t get away from your song
Even when the radio’s off
I can’t get away from your song
All I can be is who I am
I’m free to lose myself,
I’ll swim through the sea
And find myself when I drown.
I’ll see you again
My loving friend
But this could really be the end
And I’m scared
still lost, not found
All I can be
Is nothing but me
Looking for silence, but I’ll try to believe
That maybe, just maybe you’ll come back
Truth is, I’ve never lost like this before
So I’ll always leave an open door
For your soul to comfort me, just a little more
But I’m having a panic attack
And if I turn the music loud enough
I see your sunshine, and all your love
But the thing is, you may never be back
So now I’m forever running
Just to get away
Cuz I’d rather not know you’re gone
Driving to the edge
Of an empty highway
Dead silence
the radio’s off
But no matter far I drive, or how far I run
I can’t get away from your song
Even when the radio’s off
I can’t get away from your song.
So all I can do
Is lie in a room
And let myself remember you
With the radio on
Cuz no matter how far I go, or how far I run
I can’t escape the light of your sun
So I guess you and me, we’re not really done
Cuz I can’t get away from your song.
Even when the radio’s off
I can’t get away from your song.
Is lie in a dark room
Blasting out whatever tunes
To take away what I feel
Everything I need
To let my tears bleed
Internally
Denying what I know to be real
All I can do
Is get lost in that room
And try to forget you
And try not to feel
But no matter how hard I try
The music keeps me alive
Though I’m begging to die
Just to know heaven’s real
And if I turn the music loud enough
I see sunshine, and I feel your love
But here’s the thing
I don’t want to feel
So now I’m forever running
Just to get away
Cuz I’d rather not know you’re gone
Driving to the edge
Of an empty highway
Dead silence
the radio’s off
But no matter far I drive, or how far I run
I can’t get away from your song
Even when the radio’s off
I can’t get away from your song
All I can be is who I am
I’m free to lose myself,
I’ll swim through the sea
And find myself when I drown.
I’ll see you again
My loving friend
But this could really be the end
And I’m scared
still lost, not found
All I can be
Is nothing but me
Looking for silence, but I’ll try to believe
That maybe, just maybe you’ll come back
Truth is, I’ve never lost like this before
So I’ll always leave an open door
For your soul to comfort me, just a little more
But I’m having a panic attack
And if I turn the music loud enough
I see your sunshine, and all your love
But the thing is, you may never be back
So now I’m forever running
Just to get away
Cuz I’d rather not know you’re gone
Driving to the edge
Of an empty highway
Dead silence
the radio’s off
But no matter far I drive, or how far I run
I can’t get away from your song
Even when the radio’s off
I can’t get away from your song.
So all I can do
Is lie in a room
And let myself remember you
With the radio on
Cuz no matter how far I go, or how far I run
I can’t escape the light of your sun
So I guess you and me, we’re not really done
Cuz I can’t get away from your song.
Even when the radio’s off
I can’t get away from your song.
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