april may money love prayer

many many years ago in
a far away land
a man named
jesus
was
born
in april or may
or so
and
i really
wish
that
one guy
who ruled an empire
didn't feel he had the right
to move that birthday
just so the celebration
of light returning
with drunken heathen howls
would be saved...
if he had left it alone
maybe i could have been ready by april or may
this coming year.
but as it is
i am in a far away land
myself, alone
in a large cold house
that is not mine
watching and feeding
a cat
that i was told
might very well
die on my watch
and
dreaming once again
as i'm prone to do
of falling deep
and dancing
with records spinning
scratching classic versions
of some word that i think
is pronounced love
and then  i see a shadow
leaning
on the wall across
the epic room
that i sit still in
and remember i was
told that shadow
would be mine
when i found
a job
a home
a love
i think that's it
no
that's not needed
in this world
just money and a roof
then the shadow and the furniture
that caused it
would come with me
and i could send for you
my petit princess
that i left behind
a few months ago
in another far away land
and we would dance
and parade
down the street
searching for treasures
and conquering pirates ghosts and other monsters
singing carols we can't remember the words to
and meeting hello kitty spiderman and a charlie chaplin
on the boulevard
who hears voices and speaks to them all as we would
just watch and i would tell you he has invisible friends
and you would laugh and say so do you...
but for now I will just miss you
and be sometimes furious
that his birthday was moved
to here where i sit with no lights
or trees anyway, and know I could
have been ready by april or may
as i attempt to rest and try to
believe in a jesus
that could
prove to me that
love is more
important than
money and
roofs
and then put
his damn
birthday
back
where
it
belongs
amen