lewis carroll on crack

like lewis carroll on crack
i crash down on seven years
of shards and fragmented reflections
of tiny pieces of me myself and why
do I fall so far and so long
believing that once i hit the bottom
of course there will be cake
to lift me back up
with a sugar high
that sings mad crazy love spirit anthems
that give birth to this hero's journey

like a coma dream of a little girl
that lewis loved so dear
I'm still falling
and every time i reach the end
it is no more than another reflection
that i only crash through again
violently to the other side
re-opening old wounds
like they were never meant to heal
like maybe one day the scars
left over will spell out some answer
that gives every broken moment
a reason or maybe just a  nickname
like johnny two times
or freddy the finger
as if my wonderland
was a cartoon devised
by tarantino
and i could at least laugh
as i bled to death
or hopefully just dreamt it
and that cake will be there
when i wake

like a tired man
who once loved
stories
and quests
and looking in the mirror
and believing in the otherside
i will stand quietly
and stare at my reflection
and see another man
who even though i leave this world behind
the other I
tells me he will take over
and gently believe again