make-it-real

out there
in the middle
of a country
united by pride and
holy street signs
pointing the way
to sundays
that never come
soon enough
to save me from
a reckless week
of running from ringing
i don't recognize
and kind and bitter voices
telling me I owe them
everything I don't have...

out there
south of
growing up
and everything
i ever thought would be
midnight never comes
soon enough
to hide me away
from the undercover
trucks and even trees
and maybe grass
that sometimes cuts
me but now
midnight is not enough
because dreams cut me too
so i must stay awake in darkness
to be free

out there
on a country road
that almost shines
with the dullness
of suburban glow
there lives a girl
i left behind
so I could
remain alive
and slowly
and calmly as i can
reclaim another home
that is not shingled
in imasculation...
a home that calls me
when i can hear it above
the debt collectors and
phantom yells that tell me
my core is too different
to ever be in heaven

and
out there
you, dear
little girl
and I
went on adventures
and played a game
called make-believe.
and besides quiet sundays
when the phone stopped ringing
and i counted on others faith
to lift me up
and new moon midnights
when i tried to make friends with stars
as i lied on trampolines
pretending i was floating
and the morning would never come...
besides that
it was the make-believe with you
that kept me breathing..

but now I am gone
and make-believe is not enough
so let's play a new game
so we can see each other
soon
and live
like we were meant too.
this new game i will call
make-it-real.
go on
start without me
i will join you soon.