himself and the rain

i heard thunder outside as
i went to take a step
but couldnt wrap my head
around the ground
that was not there...
but i stepped anyway
and found
a fine line
between faith and nothing
that i walked with a racing heart
and a shaking foot
as a circus clown
with a painted smile
that is all you can see
from the crowds
200 feet away
laughing and loving
the moments
I almost fall
because the smile remains
and its all a show
and each step i take
the otherside comes alive
and creeps a little further
as i freeze on my fine line
that evolves into a very thin thread
but somehow with painted face
i will still hold on
for the finale
when a baloon appears that lets me float down to safety
and you applaud for the danger and joy
that carried you through the show
and let you escape from you
for a time...
then i turn to walk on solid ground
step outside the tent
and face the wind and the rain
that washes the paint from my face
and reveals underneath
a man not a clown
who really does know how to smile
and that man will turn around
to return to the show
to the laughter and love and forgiveness
and the paint
that lets him keep his real smile
between himself
and the rain...